Postdate: 23 April 2018
Are you having this nagging feeling when your colleague gets that important promotion or job, and you don't? You're not the only one. Jealousy is a very common feeling. In this case, you may think that your colleague has better social skills, is smarter, or more successful. This is how you can lose that feeling.
We are all a bit envious or jealous in a less hurtful way at some point. But sickening jealousy, both in your private life and in the workplace, can have a huge impact on the way you think and your performances. You are not just dragging yourself down unconsciously, but it also radiates a feeling of doubt, distrust, and insecurity to others. This will result in less self-confidence and a negative vibe, while this is exactly what you want to avoid.
Recognisable? Below you can read how you can tame this green-eyed monster within you.
1. Make a list of your positive characteristics
"When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at will change." This also applies to jealousy. Your focus then lies on only one part of that particular situation. Your brain is looking for a confirmation for your jealousy: maybe you think that your partner is just a bit too familiar with that handsome man or woman, or your colleague has a much nicer figure than you have. Stop thinking this and focus on your own characteristics that make you fun and unique.
2. Find out where you are having these thoughts
Jealousy often originates from prior experiences or situations. 'Old wounds' we call them. Maybe you were bullied a lot when you were young which has made you insecure about how you look, or a partner once cheated on you which has made you more careful in a new relationship. By reflecting on this, you realise that your jealous feelings are based on something. And they are may have nothing to do with the person it concerns now, but that they are a projection of your own feelings and thoughts (yes, really!).
3. Talk about it
It is a big step but by talking about your worries with someone who is close to you, you can diminish your sleepless nights and brooding. Jealous thoughts tend to fill in certain situations by themselves, making it easy for them to become assumptions. "She is smart/funny/successful, so she must be..." is an example of such a thought. By communicating clearly about this, you can limit the feeling of jealousy.
4. Do something that makes you happy
Prolonged jealousy is an energy killer. You sleep badly, worry a lot, and your environment will not find you the most enjoyable person to be with. Your motivation will decrease as well. So try to do as many things that make you happy as you can. Focus on a new sport or start doing something fun you used to have little time for. This will give less room for the green-eyed monster.
An occasional jealous or envious feeling won't hurt, as long as you can put it into perspective. When it really takes over your mind, it is high time for change. Strengthen your self-confidence with the challenges in the Tsuru App and use the tips in our blogs!